In December and January, white elephant gift exchanges take over friend groups and holiday parties. Almost immediately, a stereotype appears when it comes to high school boys attempting gift giving in that they will either bring something random, something useless or something meant purely as a joke. Whether it’s a random shirt, a gas station snack or a gift bought five minutes before the exchange, students assume that boys aren’t capable of putting real thought into a white elephant gift. But is that stereotype actually fair?
Teenage boys tend to treat white elephant as a competition to be the funniest rather than the most thoughtful, which leads to this stereotype. The goal becomes getting laughs, stealing the weirdest item or walking away with the most ridiculous gift possible. Because of this, the exchange can feel chaotic and unserious, creating the belief that boys don’t take the event, or each other, seriously enough to make it meaningful.
However, the stereotype doesn’t tell the whole story. In my own friend group, we do a white elephant every year, and it’s surprisingly well thought out. My friends plan, consider inside jokes and try to bring gifts that are both funny and useful. Last year, the gifts brought included two Capitals tickets, a LEGO car, underwear with someone’s face, scratch-offs, cookies, playing cards, a poker T-shirt, a fishing rod, candy and a Chipotle gift card. White elephant gifts like these show that when boys care about the group they’re with, the effort changes. The gifts aren’t just random, they’re intentional.
What gets overlooked is that white elephant isn’t supposed to be perfect or sentimental. It’s meant to reflect the dynamics of the group and, for high school boys, humor is often how we show effort. A gift that looks stupid on the surface might actually be tied to a shared memory, a running joke or something everyone understands. In that way, thoughtfulness just shows up differently than people expect. Junior Blake Williams went the useful route and brought “a portable charger and some candy because who wouldn’t use a portable and eat candy.”
Not every white elephant exchange is a success. Our Lady of Good Counsel junior Charley Greenberg fit that stereotype, that teenage boys can’t do white elephant perfectly, as he brought an open jar of cookies. Students may not plan ahead, forget the rules or bring something that shows little effort, similar to Greenberg. “I told my friends I didn’t think I could go but then I could and that’s the only thing I had,” Greenberg said.
But when the group sets expectations and actually cares, the exchange can be both funny and meaningful. Junior Max Lee brought the 20$ Fortnite vbuck gift card. “I brought the vbuck gift card because everyone likes Fortnite even though it’s laughed at and considered a childish game,” Lee said.
So, can high school boys complete a proper, thoughtful white elephant? The answer is yes, but only when they want to. With the right group, a little planning and effort, the exchange becomes more than just a joke. It turns into a shared tradition, one that proves thoughtfulness doesn’t always look the same, but it still counts.
