Dear school couples,
Every student knows the excruciatingly awkward minute of walking by a couple in the hallway, while either fake staring at your phone, or just staring at the ground.
To the couple in the stairwell, you just might be the worst of all. People are simply trying to make it from class to class, and it isn’t even as though we can just stare at the ground and hurry by, because after all we also have to focus on not falling up the stairs. Go find some better place to make out that isn’t right in front of all the students who have to pass by. No one wants to go through the uncomfortable situation, especially if we know each other because then what are we supposed to do? Say hello? Ignore you? So to you, stairwell couple, please go somewhere else to do whatever you are going to do. “Every day from second period to third I walk up the stairs and the same couple is making out right in the way of everyone, and I’ve even tripped a few times and it’s really annoying and frustrating,” freshman Leah Keller said.
Ah yes, hallway couples, not quite as bad as the stairwell, but pretty close. Whether it’s leaning against the lockers, or just standing in the middle of the hallway, you are blocking traffic, and making it difficult to get by. Yes it’s easier to avoid looking most times, but that doesn’t mean we enjoy fake reading something on our phone or fake texting, just to avoid making weird eye contact with you. You may be better than the stairwell couple, but that does not mean we enjoy your presence of making out or awkwardly hugging and holding hands right in front of us. “They randomly just stop walking in the middle of the hallway and it stops everyone from walking. I’ve even been late to a class before because the hallway was so crowded,” freshman Lainey Morris said.
Couples touching each other, you have officially outdone the stairwell couple. This is no achievement, just stop doing it all together. No one can ever make a school day perfect, but the touching can be one of the most uncomfortable things that we walkers have to view all the time. It’s nice that you both like each other, but it’s a disturbing and unwanted thing to see in the hallways.
There are a small number of couples who spend time in the Commons, but for those few, why? The Commons is just about the least discreet location in the school, and maybe one of the weirdest. The Commons is a place where friends go to hang out and talk, during our short break from school, it is not so we can go and view two people all over each other. Going to the Commons with your significant other is the most public and unnecessary place to go, and it’s not as if we are walking past you for a minute or two, it’s five minutes just standing around awkwardly lingering. “There are two couples that I always see making out in the Commons when I’m talking to my friends and it’s really unnecessary cause everyone is always standing around talking, and it’s not the place for making out,” Morris said.
Sincerely,
The girl who’s tired of changing her route to class to avoid you

Emily Eichberg

Staff Writer