Group chats: the glue of a clique, a forum for never-ending conversation, a means of nighttime entertainment. We all simultaneously love and hate them. These are nine types of people in a group chat help to form a solid dynamic.
The one who puts the group on “do not disturb” mode: This person is done with the group chat’s endless banter and notifications. They don’t particularly care what is going on or being said and they aren’t a devoted squad member. They usually return to the group chat every five years or so and have a million messages to read and catch up on.
The one who passionately texts in five-message bursts: This person is always excited about something, or mad at someone, or just can’t seem to understand the concept of writing one lengthier text opposed to 10 three-word texts. Everyone understands their dilemma– they don’t want to send a long text for fear of people’s eyes glazing over it, deeming it “too much effort,” and although their messaging tendencies can be frustrating, we love and value them anyways.
The one who writes novels: This person is the counterpart to the five-message-burst group chat member. If the two of them were one person, they would balance out to be a normal texter. But alas, this member thinks that they need to tell every minute detail of their day or an event, despite the fact that a story that takes 10 minutes to tell could’ve only taken two. They should be an author, because their attention to detail is fantastic.
The one who only ever speaks in caps: OMG THAT’S SO EXCITING AHHHH!!! This person has a bit of crazy in them, but in the most endearing way. They are the hype man of the group and always encourage other group members to make bad life decisions. You can always count on them for a reaction, though, and they really know how to make you feel like you’re being heard.
The roaster: This person is a straight-up savage. You never know what to expect because the roasts are often times so intensely creative that it amazes you. The roaster spews truth in the funniest way, and although they can offend people sometimes, they do not actively try to do so. They’re a great addition to the chat because if any group chat member is ever feeling down due to someone outside the chat, the roaster will tear said person to shreds in order to make their friend feel better.
The roastee: This person is the easy target. We all love them because they constantly take crap from all the other members in stride and aren’t known to be sensitive. The roaster and roastee often quibble, but it’s all in good fun, because these friends are two sides to the same coin.
The planner: This person is the mom of the group, the one who tries to get everyone to shut up and focus for long enough to formulate plans. This is by far the most agonizing position to hold. Once they have finally created a plan, which can be equated to trying to solve a Rubik’s cube color blind, some other group member will inevitably do something ruinous. The planner is our savior.
The gif queen: This person always swoops in at the perfect times with perfect gifs. Whenever no one knows how to respond or what to say, this queen will come and save the day by sending a gif to fill an odd silence or halt to the chat. They are amazing at showcasing the emotions the entire group is feeling without ever saying a word.
The pointless commenter: This person is a “yes-man” type. They usually just send confirmation texts or emojis to the group that don’t add anything to the conversation except for another notification.
So, which one are you?

Julia Gastwirth

Managing Editor